


What Ever Happened in Vegas

by thelotuseaters



Category: Dead To Me (TV)
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Canon Lesbian Relationship, F/F, HAPPY ENDING BITCHES, Las Vegas Wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:14:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24618919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelotuseaters/pseuds/thelotuseaters
Summary: Jen and Judy go to Las Vegas and accidentally get married.AU during season 2.
Relationships: Judy Hale/Jen Harding
Comments: 8
Kudos: 82





	What Ever Happened in Vegas

**Author's Note:**

  * For [necolli](https://archiveofourown.org/users/necolli/gifts).



> \- So I'm not part of this fandom and I don't write for Jen/Judy, this is actually a birthday gift to a friend of mine. She's a dtm's stan and all I could do was writing this piece to celebrate her day. Happy birthday, Nicolle!

Jen huffed, she couldn’t believe she just lost three hundred bucks for those fuckers. They even told her to go learn how to play poker with adults before she could return to Vegas. She thought of saying ‘you can shove your adult money up your ass, hairless Jimmy Fallon’, because the guy kinda looked like him, but instead she just said ‘’fuck you, I hope you lose this shit.’’

She walked away, still pissed off and a little tipsy. No, she was drunk as hell, Jen realized that the minute she saw a blurred Judy waving at her from five tables away. Was that a ghost? Did she die and was about to meet Judy in heaven? Definitely not in heaven, that was hell. She lost three hundred dollars, of course it was hell. But Judy kept waving at her, actually calling her name.

After stumbling into some chairs, almost hitting two waiters, she finally reached the table Judy was sitting at.

‘’God, you look so bad’’, Judy grimaced, looking at Jen up and down. ‘’I mean, you’re pretty, but you look bad. Do you even recognize me?’’

‘’Fuck off!’’, Jen said, shouted almost. ‘’Of course I recognize you, you’re the only one here wearing this flowered dress.’’

Judy wanted to look insulted, but she was actually laughing. ‘’What’s wrong with my dress?’’

‘’Really? It screams ‘hey guys, I’m part of a hippie group and we travel the country in our van’.’’

They stared at each other for a few seconds, then burst into laughter. Jen thought they were probably being too loud, but they were in a casino, there was music everywhere and people were too busy losing their money to pay any attention to them. When they were finally catching their breath, Jen had this dead-serious look on her face all of a sudden.

‘’What’s it?’’, Judy asked. ‘’You’re scaring me.’’

‘’I lost three hundred bucks’’, Jen huffed.

Judy almost let out a ‘you what?’, but she thought twice. That wouldn’t help Jen at all, she looked like crap. ‘’That’s okay, we still get money. You don’t need to be all sad about it’’, Judy felt so sorry, she wanted to hold Jen so tight because she looked so cute with her pouting. Instead, Judy just gave her a little pat on the shoulder.

‘’He told me I should learn how to play poker with adults’’, Jen was now just mumbling words, probably not even noticing Judy’s presence anymore.

Judy grimaced. ‘’Okay, that’s rude, You should’ve punched him in the face.’’

‘’Yeah, I should...’’, Jen mumbled again, and again and again. She grumbled about how the boys would be disappointed at her, that she was not only a murderer, but also a gambler now. After all the mistakes of her life flashed in her mind, she finally looked up and found an open-mouthed Judy, with her eyes equally wide open. Jen immediately panicked. ‘’Judy? Are you okay? Oh my God, you’re having a stroke. Somebody help!’’, Jen raised her hand to ask for help, but she was stopped by Judy in the first second.

‘’No! It’s Jane Fonda, look!’’, Judy grabbed Jen’s face with her own hands forcing the other woman to turn around.

‘’Jesus Christ!’’, Jen said.

‘’Yes, they’re the same person!’’, Judy giggled. She looked so happy and Jen wasn’t even moving. They were both gazing at the actress who was now at the bar, ordering her drink. Jane was wearing this stunning red pantsuit and with a lipstick of the same color. They envied the bartender so much at that moment.

‘’She looks so gorgeous...’’, Jen fangirled.

‘’She probably smells good...’’, Judy fangirled right after her, but in a creepier way.

The bartender came with Jane Fonda’s drink and that view almost made Jen die on her seat.

‘’Fuck, she’s drinking a martini, Judy!’’, Jen said and grabbed the other woman’s arm, drawing her even closer. ‘’That’s a Grace move, I can’t believe this’’, their faces were practically an inch away from each other now, but they were too busy gazing passionately at Jane Fonda to notice that. And when Jane finished her martini in one gulp, Jen and Judy completely lost it.

‘’My God!’’, they said simultaneously.

‘’You know what?’’, Judy said. ‘’I’m going over there and I’ll get that glass for us.’’

‘’Fuck, you wouldn’t!’’, Jen challenged her.

‘’Watch me’’, Judy said as she stood up from the table and she was _really_ walking towards the bar. Jen couldn’t tell if she was horny or terrified. What? Horny? No, excited was the right word, of course.

Judy approached the bar, coming right behind Jane Fonda. Gosh, she wasn’t subtle at all, but getting that glass was everything that mattered that moment. She saw Judy stopping and slightly smelling Jane’s hair. Fucking psycho, Jen thought, but agreed she would do the same. Then, Judy came back victorious with the glass in her hands. The best of all was that Jane’s lipstick was still on it.

‘’Told ya’’, Judy handed her the glass.

‘’Judy, you’re a genius’’, Jen said as she admired the object in her hands now. While Judy had this gigantic grin on her face, too damn proud of herself. ‘’And how does she smell like?’’

Suddenly Judy made that face when she was about to say some bad news.

‘’Coconut.’’

‘’Oh, fuck no!’’, Jen said.

The rest of their night was fun. They ordered more drinks, most of them martinis to remind them of Jane Fonda. They danced alone, danced with strangers, danced with each other. There was also a moment where Jen hurried to the toilet because she had to throw up. Judy had a bunch of coins in her purse because she won on a slot machine. Some old dude tried to flirt with her, but Jen appeared out of nowhere to tell him to go fuck himself. They made friendships, people that they wouldn’t remember the name in the next morning.

Summing up, they had a great night. They felt truly happy for once – even though Jen lost three hundred dollars.

* * *

Judy couldn’t open her eyes. Why couldn’t she open her damn eyes? She peeked from one of them and saw white curtains, it was already morning. The sun slightly entered that side of the room. Judy tried to lift her head up but the whole place was spinning, her vision a little blurred. God, and now she noticed she was with a terrible headache.

Her first thought was a really common one during a hangover, something like ‘I will never drink again’ or ‘whiskey tastes like death’. The second one was actually wondering where the hell she was. Okay, she was in a hotel room, checked. She was lying on a bed, checked. She was naked, also ch—

Wait, she was naked. Oh my fucking God.

Judy tried turning to the other side a few times, but she was terrified. She didn’t want to find any stranger in her bed, that’d be too much of a fucked up night. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and turned to the other side. She waited a few seconds before opening her eyes and finding a sleepy Jen Harding next to her. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Now she couldn’t even form a single thought, everything screamed ‘fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck’. She freaked out but when she actually paid attention to Jen’s heavily sleeping face, she pouted. Jen was probably going to kill her for this or kill them both.

Judy put both hands on her face, until she felt something cold against her skin. Damn hell, it was a ring. As if the situation wasn’t ‘fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck’ enough, they got married in Vegas. Worse, marrying in Vegas was legal, that meant they were legally married and—

A scream.

Jen woke up. Fuck.

‘’What? What you? Do I?’’, she mumbled. It took her a few seconds to notice that they were both naked. ‘’Oh, Jesus fucking Christ...’’, she hid her face under her hands.

‘’Hey... Good morning’’, Judy forced a smile.

‘’Shut up’’, Jen cut her off. Judy was actually waiting for her to notice the ring too, she didn’t want to be the one giving the news right now, It didn’t take very long until Jen was staring at her hand as if it was on fire. ‘’Don’t tell me that we...’’

‘’Yeah, we kinda did...’’, Judy trailed off.

‘’Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!’’, Jen said as she kept expanding the distance between them on the bed. ‘’That’s glass, it’s not even a real diamond’’, she whimpered.

‘’I think it’s pretty...’’, Judy said and Jen gave her that could-kill-millions look. ‘’Okay, I’ll shut up now.’’

‘’Turn around and close your eyes, I’m getting up’’, Jen said.

‘’But we had s—‘’

‘’Don’t! Judy, turn around and close your eyes’’, she repeated. Judy did what she was told. With her back turned to Jen, she could hear the blonde getting out of the sheets and then some weird sounds of coins. ‘’Why the fuck there’s coins everywhere!’’, she heard Jen saying. Then she heard a door closing, probably the bathroom one and she could finally turn around. Regretting a bit for not peeking on Jen, but she was pissed off enough and Judy expected to survive that morning.

When Jen came out of the bathroom, fully dressed, she noticed Judy was still naked in bed. She frowned, but the view wasn’t really doing her any good at the moment, so her eyes traveled around the room as her mind formed the words for her little speech.

‘’I don’t know why you’re still naked, but let’s skip that. Here’s what we’re gonna do, we’re gonna pretend that nothing of this happened, except for the Jane Fonda part, I’m never forgetting that. But the...’’, Jen struggled with the word. ‘’Marriage, we’re getting divorced in secret and pretend it didn’t happen, okay?’’

‘’Okay...’’, Judy said, not making an effort to hide her disappointment. She didn’t even know why it was there in the first place.

‘’No, Judy. Don’t make that face. That was not fun, this ring is ugly and we’re best friends!’’, Jen tried to sound confident, but she sounded frustrated.

‘’I’m not making any face, and so what? Couples are best friends too!’’, Judy only noticed what she said after she said it, and when she looked at Jen, the woman was a bit – a lot – shocked.

‘’We’re not a couple’’, another amount of words that came out without thinking, this time from Jen. ‘’Get dressed, collect all these coins from the floor and we’re not talking about this again. I’m gonna make the check-out, we’re leaving soon’’, Jen said before storming out of the room, leaving a naked and speechless Judy behind.

* * *

They were back home, and indeed they didn’t talk about their new issue. They were avoiding each other, Jen barely left her room and Judy would only get out of her studio to make lunch and dinner. Their morning and evening meals were all awkward, except when Henry started talking about school and his new friend George.

Their first morning in the house after Vegas was more than awkward. Even Charlie mentioned that they were ‘acting weird’, which is saying a lot about them. They shared a look, but again, didn’t talk about it.

Judy was at her studio, painting a glass of martini marked with red lipstick. She laughed at the memory, they had so much fun. But just as the memories made her feel happy, they also made her feel miserable. Not because of the sex, it was amazing, they did it three times. Not because of the marriage either, it was a piece of paper and a beautiful ring, no matter what Jen said about it. What was really making her miserable was this distance that kept growing between them. She missed her best friend, the best friend who is her wife now. Gosh, they didn’t even plan the divorce, it was all words hovering in the air.

That was so strange – to be married to your best friend – but it also fitted them well. They were good together, they knew each other like nobody else. They were both men killers, to be more poetic. Judy didn’t know how to explain to Jen that they were meant to be, that they were soulmates and even Las Vegas could tell that before them.

As if in reading minds, a knock on her door. It was Jen, awkwardly standing outside, biting her bottom lip. Something she used to do when she didn’t know exactly what to say. Judy felt the same way, but instead she just smiled at her.

‘’Hey...’’, she said.

‘’Hey’’, Jen repeated like a parrot. They stared at each other silently, both of them expecting the other to begin. ‘’I’m sorry I pushed you away.’’

‘’Yeah, me too.’’

‘’Look, I just didn’t know what to do, I still don’t. But I had a lot of time to think and...’’

‘’I don’t want a divorce’’, Judy cut her off. Jen was explicitly surprised. ‘’We’ve made so many dumb decisions, but this time I just feel that it isn’t. I might be wrong, but I don’t want to be. I love you, Jen...’’, Judy’s voice failed after that, but she recovered it soon enough. ‘’And I love the boys, I love our new life and I also love this ring. I don’t care if it’s made of glass, all I care is... You.’’

Jen’s mouth was slightly open in shock. She blinked a few times. Her silence was starting to make Judy feel embarrassed, and as she was about to apologize—

‘’Me too’’, Jen said.

Well, what?

Judy had this big question mark on her face, wondering what the hell she meant. ‘’You too what?’’

‘’I love you too, I came to say the same thing, not just with your words...’’, Jen kept putting her hands in and out of her pockets, a nervous move. ‘’You’re better at this than I am. I was going to say that we should reconsider the divorce and...’’

Then Judy kissed her.

She put both hands around Jen’s face and just kissed her. In the beginning, Jen didn’t return the kiss because it happened all of a sudden, but when Judy least noticed, she felt Jen’s lips moving against hers. She returned the kiss and embraced the other woman’s body. In their minds, they thanked Jane Fonda for this.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and suggestions are always appreciated!


End file.
